Every time I show out any sign of a collaps, there turns out to be a bunch of friends and ppl that are close just to stab me right in the back. The worst case is that they all think that they're helping but they're not! They like to think that if they're not around that time, it's good. cos actually, yeah, i can be sometimes such a bitch, when im down and say stuff they don't want to hear, but that doesn't mean that i don't need a support. I strain every nerv to get out without them, but I guess Im stuck here forever.
At least some things are going better now.. though studying for exams are taking all my free time. Whenever I can, I just sleep.
Yesterday I saw a strange dream. I was at some party in a hotel, i guess.. there was this huge white sofa in the middle of the room, a bar in the corner and ppl in cool clothes talking and drinking.. then i got too drunk and a cute blond guy took me to another room. It was a white room without lights or windows except theese little yellow and red ones on the walls.. and a big bed. We talked about something, he seemed to be a nice guy.. and we started kissing .. but i just couldn't do it and went out of this little door behind the curtains. then i woke up.